Eye Level
by Windcat
Summary: After an incident involving Sari's Key, the Autobots find themselves seeing things from a new angle, however, others begin to notice Detroit's strange new "immigrants" might not be who they say they are. Rated T to be on the safe side. Humor for now, may change later on.
1. Of Meetings and Moustaches

_AUTHOR'S NOTES: Yeah, my first fanfic…yay! _ _I know it's not an original idea, but, hey, I couldn't resist. Set in TFA._

**DISCLAIMER:**

_Windcat: _I do not own Transformers.

_Grimlock: _That right! You no own Transformers! Grimlock is King!

_Windcat: _Uhh…Grimlock? Hate to break it to you, but Transformers is owned by Hasbro,

_Grimlock: _WHAT!? GRIMLOCK NO OWN TRANSFORMERS? BUT GRIMLOCK IS KING!

_Windcat: _You do not own Transformers. Hasbro does.

_Grimlock: _Hmm…me Grimlock need…time to think…

_(Ponders this and walks away)_

* * *

Eye Level- Chapter one

Of Meetings and Moustaches

It was a normal day at base, quiet, calm and sunny. Three hundred or so Snickers wrappers littered the floor, though it could have been worse, considering the circumstances.

"Man, what happened in here? It looks like Wreck-Gar learned about Christmas in July! I knew we should have dropped you off at your dad's." Plopping down next to Sari on the couch, Bumblebee reached over and grabbed a video game console.

"Hey, you're not really one to talk, Bumblebee. Have you seen your room lately?" Bumblebee shrugged.

"My room doesn't have-hey! Who told you that you could go in my room while we were out?"

"Nobody." She replied, grinning slyly before going back to work on something in her hands. "How did the meeting go, anyway?" Bee sighed.

"Same old, same old. Sentinel wasted half the time talking about himself, Jazz listened to music, and the Jet twins spent the whole meeting practicing moose antlers on Sentinel. That was the only worthwhile thing that happened. Bulkhead sat there no less confused than he usually did, Prime was trying to take matters into his own hands, but ended up having the rank war with Sentinel. Prowl looked annoyed, but that may have been because Ratchet was taking a stasis nap and I was…well…you'll see." Sari lifted her eyebrows. The yellow mech continued. "Blurr finally got back from Junkion and he just rambled about something that I couldn't understand. The only thing I heard was something about Cybertronian dust bunnies…so how was your day?"

"Bo-ring! I was here at base, all alone, _all day, _for _eight hours _and not a single thing happened! So, I decided to give my key a few upgrades."

"Sari, I'm not sure that's such a good idea…"

"Trust me, it'll be fine! Where are the others?" She said, partially out of curiosity and partially out of desperation to change the subject.

"They were stuck in traffic last time I saw them. Prime is trying to have this new no sirens rule about respecting the right of REAL emergencies and not using them for 'satisfying our own impatience'. I told them that having Bulkhead on the freeway WAS an emergency but he didn't buy it." The sound of wheels on pavement from outside interrupted the two and was shortly followed by the whirring of armor transforming and clicking into place. They glanced at each other.

"Five, four, three, two, one…"

"BUMMBLLLEEBEEEEE!" The doors exploded, revealing a very angry, merciless, and Italian looking Ratchet. A curly line decorated his faceplates, curving delicately above his lip and twirling up the sides of his helm. The younglings sniggered. Ratchet growled and pulled his favorite weapon out of his subspace compartment. The two friends fell silent.

"Run?" Sari suggested helpfully.

"Run."

With that, Bumblebee scooped Sari up and put her on his shoulder before taking off at full sprint down the corridor.

"YOU SLAGGIN' GLITCH HEAD! GET BACK OVER HERE RIGHT NOW! WHEN I'M DONE WITH

YOU YOUR OWN CREATORS WON'T BE ABLE TO TELL YOUR HELM FROM YOUR-!" Ratchet waved his wrench menacingly in the air. A hand gripped his shoulder.

"Calm down, Ratchet." Ratchet turned around. Optimus had to shut his intakes to refrain from laughing.

"And let the kid get away with…_THIS_?" He gestured to his face. "What kind of paint is this anyways? It doesn't come off!"

"I believe it's what the humans call 'Sharpie".

* * *

"Man that was a close one!" Bumblebee rested against a wall while cupping Sari in his palm and periodically poking his head around the corner.

"I have to give it to you this time, Bee! That one was GOLD! The look on Ratchet's face! Priceless! ….Where did you get the Sharpie, anyway? Between the Jet twins, you, and Blurr, I'd say that it would be pretty daring to just leave one lying around for bored _sparklings _to take."

"Better not let the other 'sparklings' hear you saying that, Sari! I am a few vorns older than you, squishy!"

"And the Sharpie?"

"Let's just say it came from the same place I got the tube of superglue."

"Uh-huh." She briefly recalled a time when Bumblebee enlisted her help with coating Prowl's floor with superglue right before his midday meditation. When she had asked where on Earth or on some random other planet he had gotten such an enormous tube of the stuff, he had simply replied that it was classified information. That was the end of it. No questions asked.

"Bumblebee. Optimus Prime wants you in the main room. NOW." The youngsters jumped. Neither of them had noticed Prowl come up behind them, and the black and gold mech seemed to materialize out of thin air.

"P-Prowl! We uh…didn't see you there. How long have you been standing behind us?" Bee inquired fearfully.

"Long enough. Command center. Now. Nanosec's out of jail again and you need to go away for a while and find some scraplet-brained way to catch him." His visor gleamed dangerously.

Reluctantly, the yellow bot scooped up Sari and deposited her on his shoulder. As soon as they were out of earshot, he cringed.

"Why am I so certain that Nanosec isn't what I have to worry about?


	2. Revenge and Sacrifice

Chapter two! :) Enjoy! Still haven't reached plot yet...the time is not right. It comes in chaps 6/7. The first five just explain how the situation arises, however, I strongly suggest that you read them.

I'm sorry if the paragraph spacing is a little odd and for the gaps in some dialogues, I tried at least three times to fix it, but nothing helped.

DISCLAIMER:

I am no different from everyone else. I do not rule the world. I do not own Transformers.

* * *

Chapter two- Revenge and Sacrifice

_On the elite guard ship….  
_

"Comeoncomeocanthisthinggoany fasterhurryitupalreadyit'sbeenmegacyclessincewe'veleftthe

groundandwe'restillnotoutoftheatmosphere ! Youshouldhavejustletmegoalon eorleftmeheretoexplore

EarthsomemorebecauseIdidn'tgettoevenseehalfoftheplanet likeIwantedandnowwe'realreadygoingback

toCybertronandit'llbevornsbeforeweevengettoth espacebridge!"

Sentinel sighed. Sometimes- namely about every ten seconds- he wished that he could weld the little bot's mouth shut.

"For the millionth time, Blurr, I have no clue as to what in Primus you just said, but if you don't shut up and stop running all over the walls I'm gonna personally slap the strongest pair of stasis cuffs I can find on your wrists. And then I would leave you like that until we reach Cybertron, you malfunctioning glitch!"

Sentinel had long since given up on trying to comprehend what the blue intelligence agent was saying; more than half the time it wasn't even worth the effort of listening. The Jet twins, however, had taken full advantage over this ignorance and had made it their goal to learn both Cyblurrtronian and Blurrish to act as personal translators. Considering the amount of material they had to work with, it was easy to make Blurr "agree" with everything they said.

"Blurr said that he would enjoy it if he was being left on Earth. Jetfire and I could stay with him and be keeping him out of…trouble." Jetfire caught on even before his brother had started speaking.

"Yes! And we can be watching the silly Prime's team as well! That way we can make sure that he is following your orders, and you can be having a break from Blurr and my brother!" Said mechs glared at him with the intent to kill. Jetfire ignored them. All three turned and looked at Sentinel with pleading optics.

Sentinel tried to look away from the big, glowing optics of Jetfire and Blurr, only to turn and find that Jetstorm had somehow been able to pull off an adorable puppy-bot visor. Sentinel relented.

"Fine, but only if you—,"

**_BANG!_**

"Yo, dogs, wouldja boogie on over here and help me pilot this thing?" Jazz called from the cockpit with a hint of worry lacing his usually laid-back tone. "You Jet cats are good fliers, right? 'Cause I think we just lost half of the right wing."

* * *

"Hey guys, I'm back. So wha'd I miss?" The team groaned. "Fine then. I catch the bad guy, dump him in jail, come home, and THIS is my hero's welcome?" Bumblebee muttered. He watched Prowl and Ratchet carefully, looking for any signs of emotion. The ninjabot's faceplates held no a trace of humor, although that didn't tell him much. With Prowl you never know. Ratchet was still sporting his "facial hair". He was napping

"I'm going back to my room." Nobody heard him. He shrugged, did a 360 degree scan for Sari, and upon failing to find the young human, made his way to his room. He needed to play Ninja Gladiator.

Pushing aside the metal door, he stepped into the cluttered room and after tripping over to the berth, grabbed his video game controller and turned on the console.

_Four and a half hours later…_

"Man! I've done this level THREE times and I'm _still_ FAILING!" He made an attempt to throw down the controller. His servo was still clutching the device. He tried to release his fingers. Nothing happened. He then tried to pry his fingers from it by sitting cross-legged and scraping the edge of his pede against his fingers. Only his thumbs could move. The rest remained where they were and wouldn't budge. Panic starting to form in the back of his processor, he stood and yanked his servos in opposite directions an effort to dislodge the controller. It was as if he had been welded to the plastic.

"Oh slag."

* * *

"We've got Screamer on our tail, flanked by three clone dogs! Steering's out ad we're losin' altitude faster than Blurr could say Cybertron!"

"It must be human military. Starscream can't be following us Jazz, because THERE ARE NO DECEPTICONS ON EARTH!"

"Tell that to our wing, radar, and my optics! Go have a look out there yourself if ya don't believe me!"

"ItoldhimthatIsawDecepticonsb utwouldhebelieveme?NO!HesaidthatIhadaprocessormalf unctionfromtalkingtoOptimus'steam,butItoldhimIdidn'tandhadseenthemandhestilldid n'tbelieveme!Maybehe'll learnthatwhenanotherbottells himsomething,maybeitwoulddohimgoodtoliste n!" A moment later his faceplates reddened when he realized what he had said. The Jet twins stared in shock. Sentinel growled and was about to order him to be suspended from duty, but Jazz interrupted him.

"Chill, mech! We got much bigger problems on our hands! It looks like the 'Cons have retreated, probably those guys think we're scrapped! We're gonna crash-land somewhere south of Detroit!"

Sentinel assessed the situation and ordered his crew, "Get into the emergency stasis pods! Stat!"

"But Sentinel Prime, sir, there are only four stasis pods! We weren't expecting to be picking up Blurr, we're one pod short!" Jetstorm protested.

"We'll just have to work with what we have and deal with it! Jazz, radio a…d-d-distress call to Optimus's team." Sentinel said, then stepped into one of the stasis pods. Jetstorm and Jetfire looked at Jazz, who was still at the controls, trying frantically to pull the ship up.

"You 'bots are too valuable to lose, dig! You two go in, I'll be fine!" The twins made uncertain eye contact, and then stepped back into the pods. They were sealed in with a hiss. Jazz looked for the other autobot. He heard something behind him and spun around, just as a blue flash tried to make an escape.

"Blurr, come on, you gotta get in the pod!" He snagged the bot by the scruff of the neck as he tried to dart around him. After retrieving the speedster from his mission, Jazz and his ninja-reflexes had grown accustomed to grabbing the air far in front of Blurr and coming back with a servo full of wriggling metal.

"Nonononononononono!" He struggled in the larger mech's grip as he was carried to the stasis pod.

"Blurr, you gotta get in the pod! Now! That's an order! And I'm not one for giving orders!" He made another attempt to force the smaller mech into the pod.

"_Crash landing imminent. Impact in five…"_

Blurr wriggled from Jazz's grasp and ran around him. He used his speed and momentum to try to shove Jazz into the stasis pod. "GetinthepodJazzareyoumalfunc tioningyoucouldbekilled!"

_"Four…"_

The silver Autobot stood his ground and reached behind him to seize the high-energy bot by the waist.

_"Three…"_

Hitting reverse, Blurr evaded the attempt and suddenly kicked into high-gear. In an instant, he would ram into Jazz and said mech wouldn't be able to do anything about it.

_"Two…"_

Blurr hit Jazz at near super-sonic speed…and kept on going. He hit the back of the empty pod behind Jazz with a thud. It closed and sent the resistant blue mech into stasis. Jazz chuckled and turned off his hologram projector. He braced himself for impact.

_"One."_

Everything went black.


	3. Crash Safety Dummy

_Author's notes:_

_Sorry, it's a slightly boring but necessary part. Sorry, still no plot. It will come somewhere in the next two/three chapters. You have to prepare for these things, you know. Sorry if the chapters are a bit short. I find it easier to write in small increments when I'm busy. It takes away some stress_._ I'm afraid I won't be very consistent with uploads. I just can't stand seeing something done and not published. It bothers me. _

* * *

Eye Level-

Chapter three

"You have got to be kidding me! This is humiliating." Bumblebee muttered as Ratchet examined his servos.

"Hold still, kid! You're not helping! I can -and should- let you stay like this until the glue wears off." Ratchet suppressed a snicker.

"IT"S NOT FUNNY!"

"Yes, it is. I said the same thing about that art you ever so kindly…provided. I should write Prowl a thank-you card. It's high time somebody got you straightened out." Ratchet tugged experimentally on the controller.

"Can you unglue me? At least you can fight! I can't activate my stingers, or transform, or do ANYTHING!"

"You can do more than Prowl could when his tailpipe got the same treatment."

"Well he knows that processor-over-matter thingamajigy! And all he did was meditate all day long anyways!" The yellow mech squirmed.

"Maybe YOU should learn to meditate too! It would at least keep you quiet!" Ratchet produced a laser scalpel from a table behind him.

"NOOOOOOOO! DON'T! NOOOO! THERE HAS TO BE ANOTHER WAY! NOOOOOOOOOOO!"

* * *

Bulkhead jumped, causing his paintbrush to leave an unsightly orange smear running across the page, determined to destroy every image on the canvas. Bulkhead growed, tore the canvas off the easel and threw it onto a heap with several others. A second wail rang through the base.

"Is Bee getting a tune-up?" Prime inquired.

"No." Bulkhead grunted before starting a new canvas.

"How do you know?"

"He doesn't sound like a femme."

"So then…what happened?"

"Payback." Bulkhead answered simply. Optimus moved to stand behind the oversized mech.

"Ah." He said knowingly. His optics scanned the fresh canvas, which was already boasting some odd colored splotches. Confused, he squinted at Bulkhead's art, unable to make sense of all the squiggles and misshapen shapes. "…What is it?"

"I call it "Team Player.""

"…I see." Optimus replied, still not able to make the connection between the lopsided purple rectangle and teams. "….I think it would make more sense if it had a caption."

* * *

(_in the medbay)_

Bumblebee knelt beside the remnants of his controller.

"You sooooo owe me! Sari had to have her dad build that! Man, you're worse than Prowl! At least _he_ didn't break my **favorite**media player!" He glared at the medic. From Bumblebee's sitting position, the old 'bot seemed much more imposing than usual.

"You mean you have more than one?" Ratchet raised a metal eyebrow. Caught, Bee rubbed his helm and gave an embarrassed grin. He was about to make up a believable excuse as to why he had six players and where he had acquired them when suddenly, a blue light illuminated the room, it's source in the back of the warehouse.

* * *

**_"BEEP! RADIO _**_DISTRESS__** CALL TO OPTIMUS PRIME! SHIP L –KSSHT-GOIN' D—KSSSSHT-OMEWHERE SOUTH OF DETROIT! PLEASE—KSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHT"**_

Optimus ran to the controls.

"Optimus Prime responding! What is your status?"

**_" RIGHT WI-KSSSSSS-DECEPTICONS HIT-KSSSSSSSSSSHT-FOUR-KSSSSSHT!"_**

"Jazz? JAZZ! RESPOND! JAZZ!"

"**_TRANSMITT-KSSSST-DAMAGED-CAN'T-KKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS HT"_**

**_"_**JAZZ? JAZZ!"

"What is it, Boss Bot?"

"Sentinel's ship was shot down! Bulkhead, help me round up the team, they're going to need help!" Optimus replied grimly.

"You got it, Prime!"

Suddenly, their optics were involuntarily dimmed as a blinding blue light erupted from the rear of the base. The two mechs pounded down the hallway to find the source, only to discover that Ratchet, Bumblebee, and Prowl were already on the scene. Sari sat silently in the middle of the room where the Allspark was stored in. Ratchet was hollering at her for all he was worth.

"WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? YOU COULD HAVE BLOWN THE ENTIRE BASE ALL THE WAY TO QUINTESSA! YOU _KNOW _NOT TO TAMPER WITH THE ALLSPARK!" Ratchet promptly plucked the human from the floor and held her up to his face. "YOU COULD HAVE -,"

"Ratchet, I know what Sari did was wrong and irrational, but we have bigger things to worry about!"

Sari couldn't believe her luck. It seemed that there was a good time for the Decepticons to attack after all! Optimus's next few words halted her thoughts.

"Sentinel's ship just sent a distress call saying that he and his crew were attacked and preparing to crash-land south of here! Sari's punishment will have to wait until later. Autobots, transform and roll out!"

* * *

"Perhaps we should have allowed Sari to come along. Her key may have been useful." Prowl veered across the near-empty road so that he could drive along in front of Optimus.

"Prowl, we don't know what she did to it! I can't risk letting her come along and risk that Key…making us all… think we're Blitzwing or something! The Allspark is the most powerful thing in the universe, and she treats it like some toy! I say it's high time we took it from her, she isn't proving to be responsible enough to use it! Until she can do that, she will NOT come on any missions with us, and until we can figure out what she did to her Key, we will NOT use it on anyone! Got it, team?" Optimus "looked" at the younger bots behind him using his rearview mirror.

"We got it, Boss Bot!" Optimus readjusted his mirror to focus on the small yellow car.

"Bumblebee? I didn't hear you."

"Fine. I'll keep a close optic on her. She won't be able to do anything that I wouldn't know about."

"Ratchet?" Prime noticed that the ambulance was driving a little quieter than usual. He hadn't uttered a single complaint.

"Well…it's just that…if any bot's injured, which is not that unlikely in a crash, I will have to be the one pounding the dents out of 'em, and I have to admit, between being on a spacebridge repair crew and Sari's Key fixing everything, I've probably gotten a bit rusty."

"We all believe in your skills, Ratchet. We might need them shortly, and we know that you won't fail us when we need you most."

* * *

In a matter of minutes, they arrived at the crash site. To their relief, the humans hadn't yet arrived.

The ship lay in a self-made trench, bashed and crumpled like an aluminum can that had an accident with a tractor and then lit on fire. Bits of debris were melted around the edges as if they had been in an oven. Other pieces looked as if Lugnut used them to practice his aim with his Punch. The ship itself was literally a wreck, the top was caved in, the sides smashed and the right wing absent. The left wing was damaged beyond repair, and what might have been salvageable was either buried in the ground or destroyed by the impact. Prime loosed a torrent of foam at the spacecraft to snuff out the flames. The craft was still smoking, and other than the curling gray wisps twisting upward into the sky, everything was still.

"They must have gone into emergency stasis. I'm gonna need help if you want to ever get them out of this wreck. Prime?" Ratchet extended his magnetizers and began clearing the wreckage and moving it away to a safe distance.

"The stasis pods should have been in the room next to the main central command area." He unsheathed his axe and made a swing at the ship's weakened armor around the hole left by the wing. Soon, he had enough space to crawl inside. Prowl stopped him.

"I'm more skilled in this type of thing than you are. I can handle this without getting stuck. I will go."

"Fine. Prowl, you can go. Be careful." He gestured to the hole and Prowl climbed in. A few Earth minutes later, Optimus glanced at the younger bots. Something was bothering them. Bumblebee predictably spoke first.

"Prime? There were originally four 'bots on Sentinel's team, right?"

"Yes. Why?"

"Well…," Bulkhead rubbed his helm.

"Yes?"

"If there were only four autobots at first…"

"Plus the knowledge that Sentinel Prime is a defective glitch-head…" His yellow friend chimed in.

"He probably forgot or refused a spare pod. Right?" Bulkhead's expression grew more and more worried.

Optimus thought about what he had said for a nanoclick, then instantly tapped on his comlink.

**_Prowl, hurry! There may have been an unprotected Autobot in the ship when it crashed!_**

**_What exactly do you mean? I see no reason as to why they wouldn't go into the pods…unless Sentinel is more irresponsible than I originally-_**

There was a pause. Optimus held his breath.

**_Optimus to Prowl. What's wrong?_** No answer.

**_Optimus to Prowl! Respond! _**He waited. The comlink crackled to life.

**_…..You might want to get Ratchet in here._**

**_Who was it? _**

**_…..Jazz. _**


	4. Recovery

AUTHOR'S NOTES-

Plot coming. Soon. I want to give a special thanks to Zak Saturday and Answerthecall for their continual support. That is all. Go toasters!

…Don't ask, just don't.

* * *

Eye Level

Chapter four- Recovery

Optimus was shocked. Jazz, of all 'bots, had been the one injured. Jazz, the mech who helped them skirt around Sentinel's orders on more than one occasion, Jazz, the easy going ninja bot. Optimus was furious with Sentinel, to say the least. Not having four or five spare pods was understandable, but not even having _one?_ Fidgeting into a more comfortable position, he anxiously awaited news on Jazz's condition.

A few hours ago, he and his team had loaded the four stasis pods into his trailer, first the Jet twins, then Blurr, and lastly Sentinel had been transported. The Autobots had decided to release them from stasis back at the warehouse and avoid Sentinel making a big scene in front of everyone and attracting unwanted attention. Removing the damaged autobot from the crash without harming him further was another story entirely. After much digging, smashing, and the assistance of Bumblebee, Prowl had somehow managed to get Jazz away from the crash site and into the trailer. Now all they could do was wait for news. The Autobots that had made it into the pods had yet to be awakened, a task that no bot was willing to undertake until they knew for certain if Jazz was going to be alright. If he wasn't…well, Optimus didn't want to think about that. Ratchet stepped out of the med bay.

"Well," he said, wringing his servos. "The good news is that he's stable…for now. The bad news is…" The entire team drew air through their intakes. "..I can't repair all the damage. I don't currently have the tools I need to perform the operation. His legs were crushed and the hydraulics in his left arm were damaged beyond what I can repair with our limited resources and primitive human technology. Optimus, we'll have to use the Key. If we don't, Jazz may never be able to fight again."

The team was silent.

"It's the only chance he has."

Optimus pondered this for a moment, mentally going over the idea in his processor. Best case scenario: Jazz could be fully repaired and get back to his ninja fighting as if nothing ever had happened. Worst case scenario: using the Allspark-charged Key could trigger the reawakening of Unicron. He reached a decision.

"Use the Key, but test it on a non-sentient robot first. If it doesn't explode or malfunction, use it on Jazz. We can't endanger him any further." Ratchet harrumphed his agreement and bent down to pick Sparkplug up off the floor; the robotic dog had sustained several tug-of-war related injuries over the past few days. Bumblebee stopped him.

"NO! Not the dog! Not the dog or the tutor-bot! Those guys are off-limits, for your safety as well as theirs!" Too late. Ratchet had already plucked the robo-dog off the floor and was inspecting it as one would inspect a chicken they were thinking about killing and eating for dinner. In a flurry of ponytails and battle cries, Sari leapt onto Ratchet's pede and began valiantly scaling his red and white leg.

"GIVE SPARKPLUG BACK RIGHT NOW YOU PILE OF SPARKLESS JUNK! GIVE HIM BACK! I DEMAND THAT YOU RETURN MY DOG TO ME RIGHT NOW!" Her ponytails bobbed furiously every time she hauled herself up another section of his armor. Why did he have to be so darn BIG_? You really don't know how tall somebody really is until you try to climb them like Mount Everest_, she mused. She gritted her teeth and latched onto the medic's arm.

"You can't do anything until you give him back, because I have the Key, remember? Why can't you just test it on a drone instead?!" She shrieked as she was grabbed by the collar and held next to Ratchet's face alongside Sparkplug.

"Why don't you just shut your little-," Ratchet growled before being cut off by Bulkhead.

"Ya know, doc bot, she has a point. Why don't we just test it on one of the drones?" He rubbed the back of his helm nervously, expecting a wrench, taking an instinctive step back and almost squashing Bumblebee, who dove out of the way in the nick of time.

"Sorry, little buddy. Didn't see you there."

"If I ever need to get flattened, forget about Megatron, I'll call you." He brushed himself off and glared at his much larger friend.

"Will you two KEEP IT DOWN?" Ratchet hollered. He slid Sari's Key into a damaged police drone. The robot sparked weakly, then was still. His spark sank into his pedes.

He was on the verge of throwing the Key onto the floor and stomping on it for all it was worth, but then the drone rattled again. A soft whirring filled the air and the tiny rotors on its top began to spin, first slowly, then gradually increasing in speed. It popped up into the air with a buzz and a declaration of "**UNAUTHORIZED ROBOTS DETECTED CODE VIOLATED MUST TERMINATE TERMINATE TERMINATE** **TERMINATE TERMINATE!**" It flew around the room like an over-energized Seeker, blasting everything and anything in sight. Bulkhead swung his wrecking ball, hitting the droid and smashing it into little tiny bits of unrecognizable circuitry on the wall. Also, it smashed a _very _recognizable hole in the wall of the warehouse. Fifteenth one this week. A personal best.

Sari took back her Key.

"Are we gonna use it? I didn't like, rig it to explode or anything. The drone was repaired, so it must be fine!" She grinned at Ratchet.

"It seems stable and functioning normally…for now…"

"Please, Ratchet? It's Jazz we're talking about! He needs it!" She was on the verge of tears now.

"Precisely. That's why I need you to come with me, because I have a feeling that you won't want to give that thing up anytime soon. Chop, chop!"

There was a moment of silence, and then everybody breathed a sigh of relief. Optimus relaxed and sank back into his chair before rising to follow Ratchet and Sari into the med bay.

Jazz was lying on a medical berth, still in stasis. Even with Ratchet's repairs, he was still in bad shape. His legs looked as if they should have been amputated, his right arm nearly crushed beyond recognition. Optimus averted his eyes.

Ratchet helped Sari onto the damaged mech's chest plates. Being careful not to damage him further or knock any medical equipment, she slid the Key into the slot. A gentle breeze washed over her.

"Huh? ...Ratchet, Optimus, did you feel that?"

"Feel what?"

"Never mind. Just my imagination. "

She soon forgot all about it.

They waited. As with the drone, at first nothing happened. Then, after what seemed like an eternity, the sparking in Jazz's legs slowed as his circuits fused together. Within a minute, he looked as if nothing had happened.

"He should be onlining soon. Now OUT!" Ratchet made shooing gestures at them.

With a slight smile, Optimus led Sari out of the room. The others were waiting.

"How did it go?" Prowl asked.

"Well. He'll be coming back online shortly. Why don't we go and wake the other sleeping bots while we wait?" Prime winked at Sari.

"Sounds like a plan!" She replied.

"Just one request Boss Bot." A cheeky grin spread across Bumblebee's faceplates.

"What?"

"Let's wake Sentinel last."


	5. Waking Up and Other Phobias

AUTHOR'S NOTES:

This chapter's a little short, so I decided to update it sooner. Plot approaching. Enjoy! Please review!

* * *

Eye Level

Chapter 5- Waking Up and Other Phobias

"Ready?"

"Ready." Bulkhead confirmed. He waited for Optimus to override the lock on the pod. It clicked, and Bulkhead none too gently ripped the top off of the device, tossing it in a corner of the room with the one that his leader had neatly lifted off with his servos.

There was a hiss, and a cloud of steam, and then the yawning Jet twins came stumbling out. Jetfire was the first one to nearly topple over.

"Easy." Optimus caught him before he hit the ground.

"Where are we? Oh." The twins said simultaneously. They looked around them and Jetstorm's gaze fell upon the two remaining stasis pods.

"Jazz is in the med bay. He'll be with us shortly. He's fine." Optimus reassured them. The two visibly relaxed. Optimus gave them a small nod, and they stepped to the side. Jetfire nudged his brother.

"Hey, brother! They are going to be waking Blurr next! We must see this!" They snickered.

Optimus moved to Blurr's pod, initiated the override sequence, and stepped off to the side. The pod, instead of opening like it was supposed to, came rocketing off its hinges. Bulkhead was talking to Bumblebee and oblivious to it all. A streak of cerulean emerged at hypersonic speed, heading straight for…

**_BANG!_**

* * *

Bumblebee's optics widened. A shadow fell over him, seemingly moving in slow motion. He tried to run, but his pedes seemed glued to the floor. He stood there, frozen in place and unable to save himself.

"…Uh oh."

* * *

"Ouch." Prowl commented. All they could see was Bulkhead's large green backside.

"Sorry little buddy." The oversized mech sat up and looked behind him for him friend.

"Mrrph!"

"Oh. There you are. I must have tripped." He lifted his leg to reveal a very flat Bumblebee still stuck to his armor. He peeled him off and put him on the floor. Bumblebee groaned.

"HAHAHAHAHA! That was funny, do you not think so, brother?"

"I think it still is being funny! AHAHAHA!" Jetstorm doubled over laughing.

"Whoa, mechs! Just what is goin' on in here?" Jazz walked in the room, Ratchet in tow. He caught sight of Bulkhead and snorted, making a failing effort to keep from laughing his processor off.

"What? What is it? Is there something on my faceplates?" The green mech's servos flew to scratch his helm in confusion and to rub his jaw to make sure nothing was stuck to it.

"N-not your face, Bulkhead! Y-your BACK!" Sari managed to choke out between giggles.

"Huh?" He craned his head to see his back and ended up spinning in circles. The thing was dislodged, staggered for a moment, then promptly did a face plant into the floor. It groaned.

"Blurr? I-uh…didn't know you were there." Said mech just lay curled on the floor shaking, his arms wrapped around his knees in a self-embrace.

"Blurr?! I didn't hurt him, did I?!"

"No." Ratchet confirmed. "He's just…having a panic attack." He bent down and put a servo on the trembling mech's shoulder.

"Blurr? Blurr. Calm down. CALM DOWN! SNAP OUT OF IT KID!" He slipped a servo under his arm and yanked him upright. Blurr stared at him, wide-eyed.

"S-so c-c-cold." Blurr's pede twitched. "C-c-couldn't…" He jerked away from the medic's grip and sped off down the hallway.

"BLURR!" Ratchet made a desperate lunge for the speedster in vain. This time it was Jazz's turn to put a hand on his shoulder.

"Blurr didn't 'zactly cooperate going into the pod in the first place, Ratch. He ain't gonna let you catch him, especially because you'd want to give everyone a check-up, right?"

"Hmph."

"Watch and learn, dog."

Jazz walked casually down the hallway, looking as if he knew exactly where he was going. The others followed. The silver mech stopped, thought, and turned into Bulkhead's room. The others watched with interest. Jazz stooped down and lifted the edge of the berth.

"Blurr, it's fine. You can come out. The stasis pod isn't needed anymore." The blue mech peeked out from beneath the berth. Bumblebee was both confused and amused at the same time. The confident, super-fast, elite intelligence agent was _hiding under the berth!_ The fastest thing on wheels, acting like a frightened sparkling! He was never going to let him live this one down. Not in a million stellar cycles! Bumblebee was already cooking up a nasty blackmail plot. Unbeknownst to him, the Jet twins were thinking the same thing…

"Blurr?" Jazz offered him a servo. Blurr had come back to his senses and was now looking at each of the mechs' faceplates. His own reddened in embarrassment.

"Ohpleasetellmethatyoudidn'tseeallofthat,Iactedlikeasparklinganddidn'tthinkandIjusthadto—,"

"It's fine, Blurr. We understand. Why don't you come out and watch us wake up Sentinel."

"NO."

"Please?"

"No,Iwon'tgonearitnotinamillionstella rcycles!" Blurr protested defiantly. The Autobots chuckled.

"Did he just call Sentinel an 'it'?" Prowl asked in concealed disbelief.

"Naw, he just doesn't like sta—," Jazz quickly got cut off, but not quickly enough. Bumblebee stared at the fleet-footed agent.

"Y-y-you're scared of _S-S-STASIS PODS?!" _For once, Blurr was silent. He stared at his pedes is shame.

"It's okay, Blurr. We're all afraid of something." Optimus assured him. Blurr kicked at the floor and rocked back and forth.

" ' ,andhear,butIcouldnotmoveanditwasasma llspaceandI…." He avoided making optic contact with any other mechs.

"Your fear is completely understandable. I know some bots who are scared of even stranger things than that. Jazz, for instance, was terrified of organics." Jazz gave a small smile.

"Hey, I thought they were gonna spit acid on me or somethin'!" Optimus pointed to Bumblebee.

"And our little yellow friend here is scared of organic bedtime stories."

"AM NOT!" He yelled indignantly. Still, a shudder went down his frame at the mention of those things. He hoped nobody noticed.

"Our fearless leader is terrified of spiders." Sari helpfully added. Prime scowled in her direction.

"I wonder what Sentinel's scared of?" Prowl mused. "Speaking of which, we'd better go and wake him up before his pod deactivates."

"Right." Optimus replied, glad to change the subject.

The Autobots, with some sadness, trekked out of the room to go and awaken Sentinel. His pod was just where they had left it.

"Okay, it's high time we woke him up from his beauty sleep." Ratchet said. "I need to get back at him for interrupting _four _of my stasis naps!" He activated the override.

The lid popped off and Sentinel stepped out. He yawned. Upon catching sight of him, the other bots sniggered.

"What?!" He snapped grumpily. He hated being woken up. A thoughtful look crossed Bulkhead's face.

"Huh. I never realized how much he looked like a moose until now."


	6. The Recharge Dilemma

AUTHOR's NOTES:  
Yay, plot starting! Finally! Zak Saturday, here it comes.

* * *

Eye Level

Chapter 6- The Recharge Dilemma

"How did you manage to do that without bringing him out of stasis?" Prowl asked curiously.

"I didn't. He came out of stasis and went straight into recharge." Bumblebee answered simply. Sentinel gritted his denta and growled.

Sentinel himself was painted brown, not a warm, chocolaty brown that makes you think of warm cookies, but that musty, dusty brown of said forest animal. The pipes on his helm were covered in brown felt, and when Sentinel lifted his enormous chin, which was quite often, they resembled moose antlers. The chin itself turned into a muzzle.

"BUMBLEBEE! YOU-YOU FR-," Jazz clamped a servo over his mouth.

"Not around the kids, Prime." Sentinel removed the servo.

"I-I-I DON'T CARE! YOU WILL PAY, SHORT STUFF! WHEN WE GET OFF THIS PIT-FORSAKEN MUDBALL OF A PLANET AND BACK TO CYBERTRON, ULTRA MAGNUS WILL HEAR ABOUT THIS!" Faceplates a livid purple, he shook a fist at the prankster. Everyone was silent. Still as stone statues in a frozen garden. Characteristically, Blurr ruined the moment.

"Youwon'tbeabletotellUltraMagnusbeca usenoneofushaveanywaytogetof fthisplanetandfrankly,I'mquitegladaboutthatbecauseIl ikeithere, ,thentheremightbeaverysmallch anceofgettingbacktoCybertron !However,ifonething'sforsure we'restuckhereforthetimebeingan dweneedtolearnhowtodealwithe achother,evenifitmeansgettingalongwit hSentimoosePrime!" He finished his speech and glared at Sentinel, somehow managing to look imposing despite being only slightly taller than Bumblebee. Sentinel's optic twitched, at a loss for words. His mouth opened and closed silently four times before finally sputtering:

"RESPECT YOUR ELDERS, THAT GOES FOR _ALL _YOUNGLINGS!" With that, he stormed to _Optimus's room, _claimed it as his own, and locked the door.

Jazz and Optimus both turned to the yellow bot.

"That might have been too much." They scolded simultaneously.

"He deserved it."

"…that, he did. But that still doesn't make it right." Optimus replied. Prowl leaned over and whispered into his leader's audio receptors.

"But we sure are glad he did it."

* * *

"Bumblebee, can you take Sari back to Sumdac Tower?" Optimus asked wearily.

"Yeah." He transformed and opened a door. Sari scrambled in, pulled the seatbelt over her shoulder, and waved goodbye.

"Later, guys! See you tomorrow!" With that, The car shifted gears and drove out of the warehouse.

Prime yawned and instantly headed for his room, then with a growl remembered that it was occupied. _Maybe I should tell him to leave…_ He pushed the thought away. No use getting Sentinel even more mad then he already was. Prowl and Bulkhead were already in recharge, and Optimus still had no place to do so. Perhaps he could…NEVER. There was no way in Primus that he was recharging on the floor.

Irritated, he made his way to the rec room, his heavy metal footsteps echoing loudly throughout the base. His expression brightened when he saw the couch. Perfect. He went around to the front, and froze. His spark sank in dismay.

The couch was already taken. Piled in a heap were the Jet twins, both in the most uncomfortable of positions Optimus could possibly imagine. Jetstorm was lying face down, being utterly smothered by his brother's back. His twin was propped up against the couch, _upside down_, with his pedes hanging off the armrest and his arms and head dangling off the side. A thin stream of drool dribbled out of his mouth.

"Mrrhpfh rmphrh!" The parts of Jetstorm that were visible squirmed in a vain attempt to escape his brother. Jetfire stirred.

"…What brother?" he mumbled blearily, a large part of his processor still in dreamland.

"MRFH RMPH! MRRP RMMF MR RPHP PRHHMPH MR PHRM!" Jetfire's optics snapped open and flashed on.

"Brother? What did you say? I can't understand you. " With a start, he realized that he was more or less sitting on him. Jetfire shifted so his brother could speak.

Jetstorm lifted his head and gasped, frantically cycling air through his systems. Finally he snapped,

"I said, MOVE OVER ! YOUR REAR IS BEING CRUSHING MY FACE!"

Jetfire looked down and his faceplates reddened in embarrassment. He crawled across his brother and settled down on the other end of the couch. His pedes were in Jetstorm's face. Said mech grimaced, turned his head the other way, and slipped back into recharge.

Optimus chuckled softly before stepping out of the rec room, unnoticed. Maybe he could borrow Bumblebee's berth until he got back… He then remembered that the young mech's room was so cluttered that only a 'bot of Bee's size could navigate the treacherous terrain. A clever line of defense, it was. Perhaps he could youngling-proof his room the same way.

Optimus wandered around, gazing at all possibly suitable places before rejecting them and moving on. Jazz had already chosen to sleep on the berth in the med bay. Prime sighed. There was no way he would be able to find a good spot before sunrise.

The sound of a door opening and closing alerted him to Bumblebee's return. Sure enough, he could hear the mech's lighter, quicker footsteps pattering toward the rec room. Optimus stepped in his way to intercept.

"Prime! What are you doing up still?"

"No video games tonight, Bumblebee, It's already late." Optimus ignored his question and ushered the youngling out of the room. Bumblebee left, but not before shooting a suspicious glance at his leader. Prime sighed again for the umpteenth time that night.

He was seriously considering the floor when a thought crossed his processor. Throughout his entire midnight hunt, there was one mech he hadn't seen. Out of curiosity, he contacted Blurr.

**_Optimus Prime to Autobot Blurr, what is your location? _**He listened for a response, remembered who he was contacting, and instantly wished he had just looked for him instead.

**_-KSSHT- ARETHEDECEPTICONSATTACKINGWH EREARETHEYHOWMANYOFTHEMARETH EREISMEGATRONWITH THEMDIDYOUWAKETHE-_**

**_BLURR! Calm down! There isn't an attack. I just want to know where you are._**

**_…Oh. I' ?_**

**_Just wondering._**

Optimus shut off his commlink and stepped outside. Sure enough, there was a sleek blue car parked behind the warehouse. _That can't be comfortable_, Prime thought. Nevertheless, he transformed and rolled up a few feet away from him. Blurr dimly turned on one headlight, the equivalent of opening one eye, before shutting it off and sinking back into recharge.

_I suppose this isn't so bad. It's definitely better than the floor._

* * *

Sentinel stirred. It felt as if he had only recharged for five nanoclicks! Yawning, he opened his optics and stretched. The room spun. Ugh. Since when was everything so _BIG?_ Oh well. This _was _Earth, after all. Full of strange things. Needing something to cheer him up, he looked down at the metal berth to stare at his reflection and give his confidence a little boost. His eyes widened in shock when they fell upon the image in the shiny alloy.

Somewhere in New York, Mrs. Madison was on her hands and knees tending to her precious garden. She thrust the shovel deep into the ground, pulled out a scoopful of dirt, and reached for another petunia to add to her growing collection of flora. A distant, high pitched, shrilly ringing reached her ears. She paused, listened, and then shrugged and went back to her work, wondering which girl was screaming this time.


	7. Organic Induced Pandemonium

AUTHOR'S NOTES:

Sorry if there were a few errors in previous chapters, they were nonexistent on Word and appeared when I uploaded. Please bear with me, because fellow writers, because I know you all go through the same thing. I'll try not to describe their humanized designs all in one shot in order to spread it around the story a bit, but if there's one look for them that you really like, feel free to picture them that way while you read and ignore the descriptions. Also, don't expect updates every day, please. I was sick so I had a lot of time on my hands.

* * *

Chapter Seven-

Organic-Induced Pandemonium

Optimus woke up to banging. Very loud banging.

**THUNK, THUNK, ****_BANG!_**

"What is going on?" He sat up and looked toward the source of the noise.

**THUNK, THUNK!**

"…What in Primus…" He asked himself in disbelief. The thumping and banging resumed, now becoming frenzied. He was hallucinating. He had to be.

There was a teenage boy _inside _of Blurr. Why Blurr had let him in and then locked him in in was beyond him, the mech _hated _small spaces, and doing this to a child was outright cruel! It just didn't add up. The boy hurled himself at the window, a thud following the impact. That had to hurt. Optimus winced and reached up to contact Blurr and tell him to release the organic.

"WHAT IN PRIMUS?!" He gasped again. His hand touched something hard and plastic, something that wasn't his commlink. Next to it, where metal should have been, there was something warm and squishy. Almost like…

He looked at his hands. They were definitely not Cybertronian.

He opened his mouth to scream, but Sentinel beat him to it, shattering his audio receptors into teeny tiny pieces. Agonized, he tried to shut them off, only to find out that he couldn't. The teen inside Blurr stopped banging and slowly slid down the window, immobilized by the awful frequency that Sentinel seemed to have managed to reach. Optimus covered his- he believed humans called them ears- and planted his head between his knees. After about ten seconds of this, the sound ceased and all was quiet. A moment later, organics came pouring out of the base, nearly all of them in a panic, running around with their arms over their head and in no direction in particular.

Optimus surveyed his surroundings. He was trapped inside a truck just like his vehicle mode. In other words, he was _inside of himself! _It was beyond weird, it was scary! It was as if he had his consciousness been transferred into an organic body. The worst part was that he was locked in. He half stood and grabbed the rearview mirror. He touched one cheek in disbelief.

"No…"

It was definitely there. The brown hair, the organic flesh, the non-glowing optics…

He looked across to the boy inside Blurr. ThereWAS something familiar about him. There was something familiar about all of the humans. That would mean…

"Oh no…"

He tried to unlock the door, to find to his dismay that it was on child-lock.

_Now why had he done that? _Oh. Right. He remembered turning off the inner locking mechanisms so that he could keep Sari from opening the door while he was driving and potentially falling out. The problem was that she often sat in the front seat, so he had to do it to _all _the doors. He cursed his rusted processor and jiggled the handle. Blurr kept on frantically trying to escape.

Outside, Jazz and Prowl were the only ones who had retained their senses. The Jet twins kept running into each other, Sentinel was nowhere in sight, Bulkhead kept tripping and falling before getting up to continue running blindly, Ratchet was shaking his fist and accusing everyone that this was all _their _fault, and Bumblebee was hollering,

"WE'RE ALL HIDEOUS!"

Prowl and Jazz stood in the midst of the pandemonium.

"Calm down, we'll get this sorted out. Guys! Yo, chill dogs! S'all cool!" Jazz waved his cap in various faces and held his hands out in front of himself in a vain attempt to calm everyone down.

"It's not going to work." Prowl told him.

"I s'pose not." The ninjabots looked to the sound of the banging. Optimus started banging as well.

Jazz knocked on Blurr's window.

"Unlock it!" Jazz shouted so he could be heard over the screaming, yelling, and general panic of his comrades. Blurr stopped ramming the windows and doors long enough to give him a confused look.

"UNLOCK THE DOOR!" Jazz pointed to the unlocking mechanism next to the window. Blurr paused, pulled it, and Jazz yanked the door open. Blurr tumbled out.

Prowl approached Optimus's window and made the same gesture. Optimus squinted through the glass, saw what he wanted, and shook his head. He couldn't see his expression through the shades, but he could tell that he was frustrated. Prowl growled, and bent down to examine the keyhole before inserting some wires into the lock and doing something Prime couldn't see.

The door opened and Optimus stepped out gratefully.

"WHAT DID YOU DO?" He yelled.

"WHAT?" Prowl asked, unable to understand him through cries of "WE'RE HIDEOUS ORGANICS!" Soon after came the unmistakable crash of Bulkhead running into something.

"WHAT DID YOU DO?" He cupped his hands around his mouth.

"HUH? OH-I PICKED THE LOCK! I READ ABOUT IT IN HUMAN LITERATURE!"

"THANKS!" Optimus said, and then looked at the scene before him. _Now to get these guys calmed down and herded into the base._

* * *

_A long hour later…_

* * *

"So, Ratchet, you're saying that when Sari turbo-charged the Key, she fused it with organic energy?" Optimus asked.

"That's right. When she used it on Jazz, the radiation must have leaked out and infected all the other bots in the base. The drone wasn't sentient, and therefore remains unaffected. However, when we woke up, we were all like this." The medic theorized.

"So why didn't you wake up in…well…you?"

"You and Blurr were in vehicle form. We were in bipedal."

"So then where…ah…are the other halves of you guys?"

"They're not us anymore; they're lifeless cars sitting in the garage. Don't ask how they got there, because I honestly don't know."

"How's Sentinel?"

"Still out. Why do you even bother to ask?"

They were interrupted by the sound of a door opening, followed by Sari's voice.

"Hey guys! Why did Bee not come and pick me up? Guys? Where are you? Guys?"

"HIDE ME! SHE CAN'T SEE ME LIKE THIS! I'M A-A-A SQUISHY!" Bumblebee hid behind Bulkhead's leg. Sari walked into the room. Upon seeing the humans, she narrowed her eyes.

"HEY! WHAT DO YOU PUNKS THINK YOU'RE DOING? YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED IN HERE! THIS IS PRIVATE PROPERTY!"

"Listen, Sari, calm down! It's us!

She froze.

"Why should I believe you?"

"Because…" Bulkhead rubbed his chin in thought.

"Because you helped me mix pink paint into the water that runs to the wash racks! You came up with the idea of putting a waterbed where Bulkhead sits on the couch! And you were the one who turbo-charged the Key and did this to all of us!"" Bumblebee yelped the muffled confession from behind Bulkhead's leg.

"…Bee? Where are you?" Bulkhead stepped aside to reveal said friend.

"DON'T LOOK AT ME!"

"BUMBLEBEE?!" Sari stepped back.

"So…that means that all you guys are…the Autobots?! But then…"

"Your tinkering with the Key did this!" Ratchet accused, his middle-aged, slightly wrinkled face purple. Sari wrung her hands.

"Umm…he he…it was an accident...Ratchet, I'm guessing?" She flashed them her innocent little girl smile. Ratchet face palmed.

"Whether it was an accident or not doesn't matter! The problem is that it happened and we don't know how long we'll be stuck like this!"

One of the blue-haired teens spoke up.

"Youmeanthatwemightbestuckthi swayforeverhowwouldwefightth eDecepticonshowwouldwebeable to getbacktoCybetronifwe'reorganicsitwouldbeimpossibl eohnoohnoohnowhat'rewegoingtodowe'renot equippedtoprotecttheAllspark orDetroitordo_anything_worthwhilewedon'tknowifweevenhaveourabilitie sorifwe'rejustnormal,plainold,slow,weak,tinyhumansthatdependonpapert osurviveIdon'tthinkwewouldbe abletostandaDecepticonattack inthisstateorreportintoUltra Magnusorcompleteourmissionsa ndthisisoneoftheworstthingst hatcouldpossiblyeverhappento usinamillionstellarcyclesand howisthisevenpossibleitmustb eadreambecausethisistoawfult oreallybehappeningand-," His face had turned the same blue as his hair, a strange look crossed his face as he began to sway. Ratchet made eye contact at Optimus. The mech-sorry- man- nodded.

"Catch him."

Blurr passed out and fell into Ratchet's arms. Bulkhead scratched his head, bewildered.

"What just happened?" he asked Prowl.

"Organics need to breathe."


	8. THIS IS WHY I HATE LUNCH!

AUTHORS NOTES:

Next chapter is here! As the Autobots are getting used to the life of a human, Sari attempts to get everyone to have a nice, quiet first organic meal together. Reviews and pointers are greatly appreciated. :D

* * *

Chapter eight-

THIS IS WHY I HATE _LUNCH_!

Sumdac Tower, later that afternoon

"So, what exactly are these again?" Bumblebee picked up a soggy green bean between two fingers and looked at is with distain.

"Food."

"Wait, we're expected to _willingly _ingest this stuff?" Optimus asked uncertainly.

"It's not that bad, watch." Sari delicately used her fork to pick up a single bean with a flourish, placed it in her mouth, chewed, masked a grimace, and swallowed. Ratchet raised an eyebrow before attempting to copy her. He scooped up a green bean and opened his mouth. Right before it passed his lips, the bean slid off the fork and landed on the floor with a plop. He growled and tried again.

"That happens." Sari told him. Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted Bulkhead trying to do so as well. Eventually he gave up, grabbed the plate between his hands, and dumped its entire contents into his mouth. He chewed, swallowed, and reached for seconds.

Jazz was obsessed with cutting his vegetables into pieces so small that all that remained was little more than a greenish pile of mush. He then proceeded to push the beans, which were now the consistency of baby food, around his plate. Blurr was mercilessly stabbing his meal with his fork, apparently with the intent to kill. Bumblebee and Sentinel wouldn't touch theirs and leaned as far away from the offending vegetable as possible without falling over backwards.

"Gross! Disgusting! They're green and they smell funny! How can we be sure they're not poisonous or something?!" Bumblebee protested.

"There's no WAY in PRIMUS that I'm going to eat an organic substance! Get it awayfrom me!" Sentinel screeched indignantly.

"Okay, you two, starve then." Sari replied.

Prowl sat silently, observing everyone's failed attempts at proper dining etiquette. He sighed, pulled a pair of chopsticks from his napkin, pinched a green bean between them, and flung it into the air, grabbing the attention of everyone at the table. Ten pairs of eyes followed the flying bean as it soared high, nearly touching the overhead lamp before flipping neatly into Prowl's mouth.

The people sat in stunned silence. The Jet twins made eye contact, then each seized handful of beans and launched them sky-high. They opened their mouths, tipped their heads back, and spread their arms. The clumps of green beans hit the ceiling and exploded, raining down upon the heads of the diners. A few made landing in Sentinel's blond hair and stayed there. Nobody said a word. One hit Prowl on the shades, landing on the right lens and smearing it beyond visibility. He growled, stood up, and promptly stomped out of the room. Ironically, not a single bean landed on either one of the twins. Everyone glared at them.

"What?" They simultaneously replied.

All was silent. Someone put their spoon down, the sound echoing unnaturally in the room.

"FOOD FIGHT!" Bumblebee suddenly hollered before catapulting a wad of food at the nearest victim. The Jet twins turned to each other, grinned evilly, and silently selected their targets. Then Jetstorm began packing rice into baseball-sized ammunition, then handed it to Jetfire, who swung it pitcher-style ad released it, sending it flying into the face of Sentinel Prime. Jetstorm handed him the next rice ball.

"DUCK!" Optimus yelled as the rice sailed toward Ratchet. The medic looked up from his crouched position.

"Where?" Ratchet asked bewildered, raising his head to look for said duck. He took the rice head on.

"BULL'S EYE!" the twins cheered. Optimus held his plate in front of his face to protect himself from an incoming volley of peas. He scavenged a handful of turkey sandwich from the floor and hurled it at his attacker.

"No! GUYS!" Sari yelled. No one heard her.

"RATCHET! WE NEED TO FORM AN ALLIANCE IF WE ARE TO SURVIVE!" Optimus's attempt to form a truce was met with a sneer.

"IN YOUR DREAMS, PRIME!" Ratchet threw a potato at him, successfully getting past his defenses. The potato hit him it the shoulder, then fell into his lap. Optimus picked up the off-white pieces and hurled them at Bulkhead.

_I should have gone with Prowl, _he thought with regret.

Bumblebee was throwing food willy-nilly, yet somehow managing to hit everyone at least twice before having to take cover. It turned out that the small people were Optimus's biggest threat. They were able quickly reload their ammo supplies and gave them the advantage at not getting hit. Poor Bulkhead, for example, was getting pummeled. Sentinel was cowering under the table.

Blurr was on fire. He dodged all attack attempts and was flinging green beans like a madman, whirling around gathering food off the floor, packing it into balls, and shooting them rapid-fire with deadly aim. Though he had lost his super-speed, he was still extremely swift and nimble. The only one who had any chance of taking down the blue-jacketed terror was Prowl. And he was ever-so-conveniently not here.

As dangerous an adversary the intelligence agent was, the Jet twins were twice as bad. Their systematic firing had no gaps in between rounds, any chance they had of hitting them was foiled by yet another volley of rice balls, forcing the receiving end to take cover and sacrifice their counter-attack for their own safety.

As he observed the fight, a plan began to form in the back of Prime's mind. He sidled over to the large, green-clad boy.

"Bulkhead!" he whispered, "Distract the Jet twins! Try to get Blurr with them if you can!"

"You got it, Boss Man!" He ran off to do the assigned task.

Optimus crawled around the floor, gathering as much food as he could find. He rolled it into a ball and snuck up next to the Jet twins. They were completely absorbed in pelting Bulkhead with bits of Turkey sandwich. Good. Optimus smiled to himself, raised the mega-veggie-rice ball over his head, and hurled it at the twins with all his strength.

Too late. Jetstorm had already noticed. He tapped his brother, and at the last minute, they each stepped aside. The sphere, which was a half-foot in diameter, flew between the two brothers and sailed out the open window.

* * *

Captain Fanzone raised his foot-long sandwich to his lips. Suddenly, his world darkened, as if a great cloud had covered the sun. He looked up and froze, mouth gaping.

"For the love of Paychecks…" he murmured.

An instant later, a pound of rice, peas, turkey, and green beans rained down upon him. He spat a bean out of his mouth, yet another break ruined.

"THIS IS WHY I HATE _**LUNCH!**_"


	9. Lectures

Author's notes:

I know the update was a little late, I have a busy schedule, and am mostly writing into the night to get these things done. I'm going to keep calling the characters Autobots because it just feels strange to call them anything else. I want to give the Autobots false names that start with the first letter of their real names. I have a few in mind, but I want to know what the general public wants, so please PM me your ideas or thoughts on the subject. Thanks!

* * *

Chapter nine- Lectures

"…oops." The jet twins commented as they leaned out the window to watch an enraged Fanzone get in his car, slam the door, and drive off. Bumblebee stopped in mid-fling to gape at Optimus, electric blue eyes widened in disbelief. For the great leader he was, Optimus was ashamed. Suddenly, he found the floor very interesting. The food fight ceased. A handful of peas hit Sari in the back. She stood. Her eyes virtually glowed with rage. It didn't help when a stray potato grazed her cheek.

"Okay, so do we have any volunteers as to who is going to apologize to Mr. Fanzone _and _my dad? He's gonna freak when he sees this mess! Also, I'm probably going to have to tell my dad exactly _who _ made the mess, _why_ they made the mess, who _started_ the mess, and exactly _why _that somebody is in my house!Adding to that, only one of you actually ate anything because everyone else was too busy throwing it at each other! My dad doesn't even know that Sentimoose's team is here, let alone know that you've all been turned into HUMANS! I am so going to be grounded because of this, and then you guys are going to have to look like total MORONS because you can't even eat LUNCH without STARTING A WAR!" She seethed and glared at Bumblebee. Her words struck all of the Autobots. Optimus looked at his boots in shame.

"I-I hope that you will forgive us for our inexcusable behavior. We acted like sparklings and will do our best to set things right."

"Optimus, you were the one who threw the food out the window, so YOU can be the one to +apologize to Captain Fanzone. He'll probably ask for your name, and what good do you think it would do for the entire city to know that the heroic Optimus Prime, leader of the great Autobots, was turned into a human and engaged in a petty food fight like a mere child?!" She waved a finger at him. Optimus couldn't believe it. Here he was, the Autobot leader, getting scolded like a naughty protoform by a human child! And yet, she had a point. Sari turned away from him and directed her anger at her next victims.

"However, there are four people in particular who will be cleaning this up. Jetfire, Jetstorm, and Blurr. You three did the most food throwing, so you three will do half of the cleaning. Bumblebee! You were the one who called the food fight, so you will also clean half of the mess. And you will do it _by yourself." _

"Uh- turns out, I have an appointment with Ratchet, so—,"

"NOW!"

"Okay, okay! I'll do it! Sheesh, who offlined and made you the boss?" Bumblebee muttered.

"I've been a human the longest, so therefore you guys rely on me to help you out."

"Hmph."

The door creaked open.

"Sari? What is going on in here? I heard voices and—," Professor Sumdac froze before demanding, "Sari! Who are these people? I thought we agreed that there would be no strangers in the tower! Out! All of you! Leave my daughter alone!"

"Dad, chill, it's fine! These are my friends!"

"They're your friends?! Why, half of them are way too old to be your friends! And the ones that are under twenty, I don't like the looks of! Especially that one! It looks like he stuck his finger into a wall socket!" He pointed at Bumblebee. "And those two! Blue hair! They're obviously not a good influence, Sari!" He gestured to Jetstorm and Blurr.

"Dad! It's all right! They're…they're the Autobots! And their other friend Autobots! The ones who landed here last month?"

"Oh, those. I remember them. But how could they possibly turn into humans? Preposterous! Do not lie to me, daughter! They're playing with your mind, and I will call the cops on them if you don't tell them to leave this very instant!" His face beginning to take on a tomato-like shade, which was both very rare and very alarming, the professor almost never got angry.

"It's the truth! I can prove it!"

"It's us, Mr. Sumdac. I swear by the Allspark. We're not any happier about the situation than you are." Optimus tried his best to put on his leader face.

"…Fine. If it really is you, then give me a rational explanation as to why this all happened."

"Sari's Key." Optimus said gravely. "It's a long story. She has been helping us out with learning the ways of organics."

"Well, that's very kind of you Sari. That still doesn't explain the mess that you've all made."

"I was teaching them about lunch." Sari explained.

"Oh. Well, make sure it gets cleaned up, because I cannot have this kind of mess in my research facility. Would you kindly explain who everybody is, please?"

"Okay, so the one with the red jacket, blue jeans, and brown hair is OP, wall-socket boy is Bumblebee, the big one is Bulkhead, Prowl isn't here but he has shades, black hair, and a gold and black clothes. Ratchet is Old Grandpa,"

"HEY!"  
"Sentinel is the guy chickening out under the table, blue-hair-visor is Jetstorm, orange-hair-goggles is his twin Jetfire. Blue-hair-track-suit is Blurr, and the one with the Mr. Cool New Orleans look is Jazz."

"… This is most unfortunate. How are we going to tell the city?" He began pacing the room nervously.

"We won't. If the Decepticons realize that we're in no condition to fight, they will attack as they please, and the city would be doomed. We will take on false names and attempt to blend in with the humans until we can figure out a way to change back. Our vehicle modes are still functional, even though they are no longer sentient. If someone can routinely drive the original team around as if we're patrolling, then it will hopefully fool the Decepticons long enough for us to discover a way to return to our normal bodies. Professor Sumdac, if we are to succeed, we will require your assistance."

"And just who put you in charge?! If I recall, YOU'RE the one who got booted from the Academy! Why should the repair crew bot get to lead both teams?" Sentinel demanded, straightening himself to his full height and jutting out his still massive chin.

"Sentinel, not now! I don't have time for this-,"

"I suggest that you SHUT YOUR MOUTH and leave the leading to ME. In fact, I say that you and that pitiful excuse of a team you have hustle on outta here and get used to life as an organic!" He glared at his rival.

"Sentinel, I demand that you leave my team out of this!"

"We are NOT a pitiful excuse for a team!" Someone said. Prowl materialized from the shadows and stepped between the Primes. "We are the ones who defended the Allspark, and though this team may in some ways be less than perfect, I will defend them no matter the cost. At first, I thought I didn't need backup. I learned the hard way that if we don't more or less get along, then it weakens the entire team! And right now, you're being so unbearable that I would rather spend an entire WEEK rebuilding Detroit with Bumblebee than spend an HOUR eating dinner with YOU. Shape up or ship out, Sentinel." He had inched up so that he was looking directly into Sentinel's eyes.

"…Wow." Said Bulkhead. "I didn't think you had it in ya."

"I'm so touched." Bumblebee muttered.

Sentinel backed down. He glared at Prowl and Prime, then turned on his heel.

"Jazz, Jetstorm, Jetfire, Blurr, follow me. We're leaving."

Nobody moved.

"I said FOLLOW ME!"

The Autobots made eye contact with each other.

"THAT WASN'T A REQUEST! THAT'S AN ORDER!"

They glanced around the room, and Jazz hesitantly took a step forward. The Jet twins soon followed, with apologetic looks to Optimus and his crew. Blurr didn't budge.

"Blurr? I ordered you to follow me!" Blurr glared at him defiantly.

"NO. Iamnotapartofyourteamsothere foreIdonothavetofollowyouror ders." He said firmly, then he sucked in a huge gulp of air.

"FINE. Optimus Scrapheap, you can KEEP the motor mouth. Jazz and the Jet twins are coming with me. While you glitches enjoy being weak, tiny organics, WE will be out hunting Starscream." He headed for the door, crew in tow.

"HOLD IT. NOBODY leaves until we all know what we're going to do. We can't have some tin head blowing our cover! SENTINEL! At least let us figure out what we're going to call ourselves before you go gallivanting off to do some stupid stunt that will get your entire team killed! SENTINEL!" It was too late. Sentinel Prime was already out the door. Bumblebee snickered when he turned the wrong way with the confidence of a king.

"It's useless, Prime." Ratchet told him. "He won't listen." Sentinel walked past the door again, having realized his error and turned around, still bearing an "I'm future Magnus" look His team trailed behind reluctantly.

"I just hope he has enough sense in that peanut-sized brain of his to realize when something is more than he can handle."

"Jazz is a bot- man- with good wiring in his processor. He wouldn't let Sentinel do something totally reckless."

"I hope you're right, Ratchet. I hope you're right."


	10. AFRO, Pseudonyms, and Plots Afoot

AUTHOR'S NOTES:

ANOTHER SPECIAL THANKS TO ZAK SATURDAY!

I do not own anything but the plot.

* * *

Chapter ten-

AFRO, Pseudonyms, and Plots Afoot

Sari paced in front of the six humans.

"OKAY, PEOPLE! LISTEN UP!"

"She sounds like Sentinel at Autoboot camp." Bumblebee whispered to Bulkhead from his desk across the room. Prowl had his face buried in his hands while Blurr chattered to him about something unintelligible, his paragraphs broken by enormous gulps of air.

"WELCOME TO A.F.R.O.! THE **A**CADEMY **F**OR **R**OOKIE **O**RGANICS!" She yelled, walking with a yardstick in her hands, which were clasped behind her back.

"YOU AUTOBOTS HAVE BEEN TURNED INTO HUMANS, SO YOU WILL LISTEN TO _ME!" _She shot disapproving glances their way as she talked.

"Since you FAILED the intro class, your first lesson will be on eating!" She snapped her fingers, and six drones came and set covered plates in front of the "students". Said humans eyed them warily.

On cue, the drones pulled off the covers. On each plate was a pile of green beans, a bowl of soup, a piece of steak, and a slice of bread. Next to them were a spoon, a fork, a knife, and a napkin.

"There will be NO food fights, and the first person to throw their assignment at another person will have to eat three pounds of over-cooked spinach. Is that clear?" The Autobots nodded.

"Why did I agree to this again?" Ratchet grumbled. Luckily, Sari didn't hear him.

"Watch me eat and try to copy what I do." She demonstrated how to dip the spoon in the soup. Nobody was paying any attention. Bulkhead shoved all his food in his mouth at once and Optimus was using his hands to put his food on his fork and cutting his bread with his spoon. Bumblebee had discarded the utensils and was eating with his fingers (with no regard to the napkin what-so-ever), and Prowl was observing every possible aspect of each bite before putting it in his mouth and chewing at a speed that would make a snail proud. Blurr, on the other hand, was stuffing his face as fast as he could shove stuff in. Sari gently explained to him the concept of choking. Upon hearing this, his eyes bulged and he groped frantically for his glass of water. He ate at a slightly more normal pace after that.

Worried about having a repeat of the earlier disaster, Sari told them to stop.

"You pass! You pass! Lesson one over!" She said desperately. She collected the plates (some finished and others nowhere near) and addressed each of their problems.

"Bulkhead, make your bites smaller, Optimus, spoons are not used for cutting, Prowl, chew less, Blurr, just plain chew, and Bumblebee, forks are there for a reason. Moving on, we're going to have to come up with some pseudonyms for you guys."

"Pseudowhatsits?"

"Fake names. People don't just go around calling themselves Bumblebee or Prowl. You've gotta blend in."

"Fine." Ratchet muttered. "I'll be Dr. Leave-Me-Alone."

"No. Too obvious. How about Dr. Robert?"

"Whatever. If you need me, I'll be in the rec room. Doing what you humans call SLEEPING." He left. The door swung shut behind him. Sari ignored him and moved on.

"Okay Bumblebee, you're next."

"But I like my name!" Bumblebee whined, emphasizing it with a pouty face. Sari ignored him.

"You look like a Benji." She stated. The other Autobots nodded.

" A BENJI?!" "Benji's" eyes widened.

"We can always call you Bob." Sari suggested. Bee shrunk back.

"Actually, I rather like Benji! It sounds…uh…bouncy! Just like me!" He said nervously. "Just not Bob. Anything but _BOB_!" Sari smothered a giggle.

"Now that that's settled, Optimus can be…"

"Orion." Optimus interjected. He sounded very confident.

"Points for creativity." Bumblebee muttered. Sari wrote it down anyways.

"I'llbeBlaze."

"Say no more, Blurr. Please. But what about Prowl? Or Bulkhead?"

"How about Bruce?" Optimus suggested. Sari contemplated this for a moment before writing it down as well.

"But what for Prowl? Something that starts with a 'P'."

"Umm…let me think…I got it! Pikachu!" Bumblebee offered with enthusiasm.

"WHAT?" Everyone chorused. Bumblebee kept going.

"PETER PARKER! PRINCESS PEACH! PORKY!" By now the Autobots were thoroughly confused. Sari, familiar with the cartoons and being the one who educated Bee on the subject, wasn't fooled.

"Um, no. How about…Percy?"

"I'm not Perceptor."

"Pierre?"

"I'm not French."

"Payton?"

"No."

"Paul?"

"No."

"Pete?"

"No."

"Pierce?"

"No."

"Philip?"

"No."

"Percy?"

"I believe we have already discussed this."

"Patrick?"

"I have no intention to hear Bumblebee singing the SpongeBob theme song." Sari face palmed.

"Why do you have to make this so difficult?! Fine, then your name is Prentice."

"No it's not." Prowl crossed his arms. Sari sighed, looking very worn down.

"Whatever. When you think of something you like, let me know. Class over."

The Autobots hurriedly got up and, tripping over desks and chairs in their haste, ran out the door. Sari sank into an empty chair. Her dad walked in.

"So. How did it go?" Sari sighed.

"Acting like a grown-up is harder than I thought. After learning first-hand what it feels like to be a teacher, I have a newfound respect for Tutor-bot. It needs a vacation."

"Nice try, Sari, but you're not going to get out of study time." He patted his daughter on the shoulder. "Why don't you go rest?"

"Yeah," she yawned. "I'll do that." She wandered to her room, settled down in her bed, and was soon fast asleep.

* * *

West Antarctica

Angry Archer flashed across the screen, a large sack slung across his back.

Another successful heist.

The man tapped his fingers together. He had heard rumors about Detroit being one of the country's hardest cities to rob, protected by massive robots large enough to squash criminals underfoot. And here was a mere novice, able to make off with over two hundred grand without a scratch.

"Curious." He murmured to himself. It seemed that Detroit was unprotected. The only robots he could see were brainless police drones, too busy malfunctioning to pay attention to the steadily rising crime rate. Either the locals were even dumber than he thought, or something was very off. He mulled over this idea. The most prominent possibility was that it was a trap. But it could just as well be opportunity knocking, and all he would have to do was open the door. _Tempting_, he thought.

He ran through every aspect of his plan with a fine-toothed comb. His banishment had given him over five years to perfect it, and as a result, it was absolutely foolproof. The only iffy thing was enlisting the help of three certain buffoons to use as bait.

There was something in Detroit. Something that he really wanted.

And he was going to get it—no matter what.


	11. Ice Cream And Monsters

AUTHOR'S NOTES:

None. I'm too lazy to write any and there's nothing I need to say.

Oh wait. I remembered. Sorry for broken dialogue. I tried to fix it. I really did. Enjoy! :D

Reposted due to some errors.

* * *

Chapter 11:

Ice Cream and Monsters

Sentinel and Co. trudged through the street, hopelessly lost in the maze of avenues, boulevards, and roads.

"Why didn't we remember to bring ourselves so we could just drive?" He muttered. The snowplow half of him was indeed still in the garage of the warehouse. "Stupid organics…" A lady with a sour-looking cat scowled at him from her porch. The cat hissed. Sentinel made a face, clearly offended.

Jetstorm tapped his brother.

"Hey, brother, look over there!" He pointed. Jetfire followed his finger and saw what he was looking at. He instantly began pulling at Sentinel's sleeve like a young child.

"Sentinel Prime, can we go? Please? Pretty please with a Magnus Hammer on top?" The twins bounced up and down. Jazz gave his leader a small smile.

"You better let 'em go, Prime, otherwise you'll never hear the end of it." The Jet twins gave him grateful looks, Jazz nodded.

"Fine, well go. But I don't see the point."

"We have observed the human children doing it." Jetstorm said.

"Yes, it looks like it would be much fun! Cybertronians do not have much of a choice in what we consume, no? I don't see why we should not try this." Jetfire added.

"Hmph." Sentinel grunted in reply. They turned and made a detour towards Natalie's Ice Cream Parlor.

A little bell tinkled when they finally entered after failing to pull open the door clearly marked PUSH. The aroma hit them first, an overeager waitress second.

"How may I help you? Today's special is the Mouthwatering Mango sorbet; would you like to try it? Only 3.99 a bowl!"

"Um…" Sentinel stammered, not quite sure what to make of this strange creature. She whipped out a pen, paper, and order slip before he could even get one word out. Upon catching sight Jetstorm and Jetfire, she tossed them aside.

"And who might these lil' cuties be?" She pinched the Twins' cheeks, both of whom looked roughly sixteen, one boy firmly squeezed in each hand.

"Our namesh arrh J-,"

"Jaiden and Jorden." Jazz broke in. The captive brothers looked at each other, perplexed.

"Will you pleash let go oph our fashesh?" They requested simultaneously. The woman released her grip. The Jet twins rubbed their sore cheeks.

"Nice to meet ya, you can call me Jay Zee. Fellow next ta me here's Smitty. We would like to look and see what we want before we make our choices, if ya don't mind." He smiled politely while stepping safely out of reach, desperate to avoid sharing the brothers' fate.

"I'm Natalie; call me when you're ready!" She chirped merrily before moving to assault the next unlucky batch of customers. Finally freed from the rotund, aproned pinching machine, the group began browsing the options. Their hungry gazes scanned the tubs of ice cream.

"I would like the vanilla with caramel topping!"

"NO, brother, you must get the chocolate with the hot fudge topping!"

"Vanilla!"

"Chocolate!"

"Vanilla!"

"Chocolate!"

"Vanilla!"

"Chocolate!"

"Why don't you just get both?" Jazz neutrally suggested. The twins made eye contact and nodded.

"We will DOUBLE!" They cheered. Jazz chose Rocky Road, Sentinel refused to get anything. Jazz pulled a crumpled wad of paper from his pocket, fifteen dollars that Sari had given him before he left. He signaled Natalie. She was at his side in a flash, armed with her order form and pen at ready. _Blurr's got competition, _he thought. Sentinel stepped in front of him to order.

"We would like a Rocky Road, two chocolate fudge sundaes, and two vanillas with camel sauce. Please." he said with an air of confidence, his enormous chin high in the sky. He cringed at the last word.

Natalie snickered. She wrote down their orders, took their money and trotted away. She scooped up the desired ice cream and handed them the bowls, still giggling.

"Camel sauce." She repeated to herself through giggles.

Sentinel had a brief flashback of the food fight.

"Perhaps we'd better take this outside, men."

* * *

Ratchet grumbled. Bumblebee was obnoxious. Prowl was ignoring. Optimus was sleeping. Blurr was talking. And talking. And talking.

"Blurr, will you JUST **SHUT ****_UP!?" _** Professor Sumdac was at his wit's end. After realizing that teaching was too much on his daughter, he had tried to give the job of teaching the AFRO to Tutor-bot, but it had short-circuited after five minutes.

Optimus was startled from his sleep and sat straight up, his hand instinctively snapping into a salute. He then realized where he was and sheepishly lowered his hand. Blurr kept on chattering to no one in particular. Mr. Sumdac marched over to him with a roll of duct tape and brandished it under his nose. The teen shut up. Next, he glared at Bumblebee while he stealthily took away Bulkhead's paintbrushes when his head was turned. He resumed his place at the front of the "classroom" and cleared his throat.

"Now that I have everyone's attention, will you please listen to me? I will be teaching Orion, Peter, Dr. Roberts, Bruce, and Blaze how to drive. Get used to your names. If the adults pass, then they will each receive a license. The youths will get learner's permits."

"But what about me?" Bumblebee whined.

"Since when was my name Peter?" Prowl asked.

"After the amount of tickets you got, I'm not sitting in a car with you anytime soon. Prowl. your name is Peter since you couldn't make up your mind about it."

Prowl groaned.

* * *

Alphabetical order. That meant he went first.

Blurr stepped into the hideous, dented, ancient tin can that was supposed to be a car. It felt wrong sitting in it. The rust-bucket was incapable of going over 80. Professor Sumdac had forbidden him from driving his alt-mode on the account that he might crash. Like that was going to happen. The scientist also refused to wear any less than four seatbelts. Since when did cars have _four _seatbelts? He shrugged it off and gripped the steering wheel.

Sumdac showed him where everything was. Blurr nodded. This was review. Then he told him to try and make it through the course.

He floored it. The car zoomed into the maze of obstacles at top speed with a screech of tires. What Blurr wasn't counting on was how hard it was to turn the wheel.

"WATCH OUT!" The car plowed down a cardboard pedestrian before swerving to hit a mock stop sign. He then proceeded to run down a line of "schoolchildren" and mass-flattened a group of innocent traffic cones. A few hit-and-run cases later, the car skidded as Blurr turned sharply. Sari's dad screamed when the car tipped onto two wheels, teetered, and rebalanced, bouncing back onto its tires with a tooth-jarring thud.

"I'm going to die, I'm going to die, I'm going to die…" Professor Sumdac repeated over and over, his hands clutching the edge of his seat so hard his knuckles turned white.

Blurr hit the gas once more. He watched the speedometer climbing to 80, ran over yet another stop sign, careened through the last turn with a squeal of burning rubber, and looked as if he was going to crash.

"STOP! I AM A FATHER! MY DAUGHTER STILL NEEDS ME! PLEASE- AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" The car braked suddenly to a halt, throwing the screaming scientist into the dashboard. Blurr looked at him anxiously.

"DidIpassdidIpasshowdoyouhuma nsdrivelikethatthereisnodire ctcontrolofthebrakesortheacc elerationorthesteeringorthea cceleration orthemirrorsoraccelerationan dIthoughtthatconsideringthec ircumstancesIdidratherwell'causeIonlyhitseventeenhumanr eplicassodidIpass?Huh?"

Professor Sumdac just groaned and slammed his face back onto the dashboard. He had created a monster.

Blurr was a _really _bad driver.

Blurr was a _way _better driver than Bulkhead.

Bulkhead was _next_.


	12. Mokka Lattays Are Bad For Younglings

AUTHOR'S NOTES:

Sorry for the long wait. I was busy and this chapter was determined to not get typed.

* * *

Chapter 12-

Mokka Lattays Are Bad For Younglings

Bulkhead scratched his head.

"Wait, why did only Blurr get to drive?"

"Ran out of time." He replied quickly.

"But the test only took forty-three point five seconds." Prowl pointed out. Isaac ignored him and hastily made up another excuse.

"The car needs repaired," he lied.

The car didn't need to be repaired. It needed replaced. Smoke was emanating from the hood, the right front tire was blown out, the left mirror missing, and the seatbelts were permanently locked. The car, which had been dented in the first place, now made a pile of scrap metal look functional.

No amount of pleading could get Isaac Sumdac into a car driven by the Autobots ever again.

"Perhaps we can try a different kind of transport." He suggested.

"I want to ride one of those scooter thingies." Bumblebee demanded, pointing to one of the wheeled police scooters. Optimus had a brief vision of Bee and Sari terrorizing the population of Detroit via motorized scooter rampage. He pushed the image out of his head and quickly told Sumdac that it was a very bad idea. The two friends went off to a corner to sulk alongside Blurr.

"How about a bicycle?"

"That sounds good for all of us. Not too dangerous and you can't go ridiculously fast. It's primitive, but relatively safe. I don't think you can do a whole lot of damage on something so simple." He shot a glare at the young speedsters. The boys grinned wickedly. Deep inside, Optimus was frightened.

* * *

The Elite Guard walked, nibbling the remains of their fifth ice cream bars. It was official. They were hooked.

Even Sentinel had eventually given in; all it took was Jetfire shoving some of the dessert into his gaping mouth while he was yelling about how revolting organic cow milk was.

The Jet twins seemed able to charm any and all vendors they came across into giving them a cone or two. Then they came to a little shop in the park selling some sort of warm brown drink; Sentinel found it quite enjoyable, Jazz never seemed too enthusiastic about it. The Jet twins, however, asked to be given something that sounded like it was called a _mokka lattay._ Probably they wanted it because it looked like it had ice cream on the top. It turned out to be some sort of dairy foam, but they drank it anyways. Now the brothers were laughing hysterically. Jetstorm tugged Sentinel's sleeve.

"Hey, Sentinel! I-I-I FORGOT! AHAHAHAHAHA! I FORGOT! HEHEHEHEHAHAHA!" Soon both teens were having a hard time standing.

"What's so funny?"

"HAHAHAHA! He-he does not k-know! And neither do WE!HAHAHEHEHEHEHAHAHAHAHA!"

Sentinel shot Jazz a perplexed look. He shrugged in response just as bewildered.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! It is so funny! Is it not, brother? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"HEHEHEHHEHEHHEHE! I CAN NOT EVEN REMEMBER WHAT IT IS THAT IS BEING FUNNY! BUT I DO NOT CARE! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"HAHAHAHA! I AM NEEDING MORE ICE CREAM! HAHAHAHA! MORE! CHOCOLATE! HAHAHAHAHAHEEHEEHEE!" Then Jetfire hit the pavement. Right there, rolling around on the sidewalk clutching his sides and laughing like a madman.

"He's gone completely _bonkers!" _Jazz exclaimed.

"NO! HEHEHEHEHE! HE IS NOT BEING BONKERS! HE IS BEING-AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA- BEING-BEING-HAHAHAHAHA!" Then Jetstorm, normally the saner of the two, jack-hammer bounced over to a nearby bench, where he flipped over upside down and giggled like a five year old, waving his feet in the air.

The older two looked at each other in alarm. Sentinel's right eye twitched.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! WE DO NOT BONKERS! BONK! BONK! BONK!" Jetstorm cackled maniacally.

Sentinel's eye twitched again.

"HAHAHAHEHEHEHEHEHEEEEEEEEE! HEEEEEEEEE! BONK! _BONK!_ HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"THAT'S IT! What is _wrong _with them?!"Sentinel demanded, utterly confused.

"Not a clue."

"HAHAHAHAHAHA! HEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! HEEEEEEEEEEEE! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! CAMEL SAUCE! HEHEHEHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA! C-C-CAMEL-HAHAHA- S-S-SAUCE! AHAHAHAHAHA!"

Jazz plucked Jetfire out of the street while Sentinel wrestled with the wriggling Jetstorm.

"We need to take them to Ratchet."

Jazz nodded his agreement. Then he froze.

"We have no idea where the base is, dog! There's no way in Primus that we're gonna find it in this city! The buildings all look like clones! And we don't know how to use these human commlinks. All I get is this groovy beeping whenever I try to activate it."

"Well standing around with two insane sparklings isn't going to help. Let's go find one of those police outposts or whatever they're called. Maybe if we're lucky we can find one of those primitive patrol drones to follow."

"Fine by me." He wrestled Jetstorm away from the road and the threat of being run over. Soon enough, Captain Fanzone pulled up.

"Is he driving the pipsqueak's alt-mode?!" Sentinel asked in disbelief. Jazz shook his head.

"It's got a scratch on its paint. And isn't as…young looking.' He replied quietly.

"What're you folks doing walking on the highway? Don't you know that it's dangerous, you morons?"

"We got lost. Can you take us to the Sumdac tower?"

"Fine. Just this once. But one misstep and you're outta here. Got it?"

"Yes sir!" The twins saluted before collapsing on top of each other in fits of very manly giggles.

"What's wrong with them? They're not drunk, are they?"

"No, just…um…just…um…_full _of energy."

"Well there's definitely something wrong with them." The captain grumbled as the foursome got in his car.

"Delinquents…" he grumbled.

* * *

_West Antarctica_

Vladimir Noxeus smiled. For the first time in fifteen years, the corners of his mouth curled up beneath his moustache. He stood in the freezing blizzard, hands in his pockets, still as a marble statue. The only sign of life was an occasional blink to bat snow out of his eyes.

Soon, he was going to reclaim his place in society. He was going to become the most powerful man in the world. It was inevitable.

He turned his face to the icy wind and gazed through the frozen gusts, unable to tell where the ice ended and the sky began. It was time to set his plan in motion.

There was just the small matter of getting off of this frozen wasteland.

Shivering, he turned and retreated back to the safety of his arctic home with two thoughts in mind:

He was going to get revenge on Isaac Sumdac.

And he was going to steal the Allspark.


	13. Rainbow Lasers and More

AUTHOR'S NOTES:

I haven't been much in the mood for writing this past week, but I finally got it done. Chaos. Utter chaos. That is all I have to say.

* * *

Chapter 13-

Rainbow Lasers and More

"Get out! Before I go insane! GET OUT! GET OUT! OUT! OUT!" Fanzone pulled over and none too gently shoved the Jet twins out of his car. They hit the dust face-first. Sentinel Prime and Jazz soon followed. Captain Fanzone slammed the door and pulled away with a squeal of tires and a cloud of dust.

The Elite Guard watched the yellow car fade into the distance.

"Scrap." Muttered Sentinel.

"You can say that again."

"Scrap." He turned on the Jet twins. "THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! IF YOU TWO HADN'T BEEN MESSING AROUND, WE WOULDN'T BE LOST AGAIN! WE _HAD _ A TICKET TO THE BASE, AND YOU TWO RUINED IT!"

The twins backed away. Then, still feeling the after-effects of a caffeinated sugar high, they took off down the dirt road, seeming absolutely sure of where they were going.

"Aren't we gonna follow them, top dog?" Sentinel stood stock-still, not moving a muscle to catch up.

"No. If they want to be on their own, then so be it. I won't have a bunch of MORONS messing up my team!" He shouted it deliberately so the twins could hear him. It was too late. The only trace of the twins was an echo of mischievous laughter.

"Well, I won't be responsible for the damage." Jazz said.

"Hey, brother! Are you thinking of what I am thinking?"

The brothers grinned evilly.

"This will be of the most fun, do you not agree?"

* * *

"NASTY, VIOLENT SHOOTING GAMES! DESTROY! DESTROY! DESTROY! ONWARD, POWDERED SUGAR!" Professor Princess fired a laser from her star-tipped wand and obliterated a gaming device. The TV went static and shut off.

"If we're going to stop her in our current state, we need to get moving. Who's with me?" Optimus announced. Nearly everyone's hand went up. Naturally, Ratchet was the stick-in-the-mud.

"Fine then, Ratchet, you can wait at base for Blurr. He should be coming back from his search around noon. Let's hope he brings back the Elite Guard. I don't want them roaming Detroit like stray organics."

"Fine. I just don't want to go fighting glittery princesses. It's pointless." He grumbled. "I need to get back to finding a cure. No luck so far. The darned thing keeps breaking my scanners." He turned his back to the others and walked out of the room.

"Well, he's in a good mood today." Bumblebee commented. Ratchet harrumphed from across the hall in response.

"Well, we'd better get moving and hope that we aren't too late. Mr. Sumdac?"

"I'll get the van." Isaac sighed.

* * *

"Move over."

"Your pede-sorry-_foot_ is in my face! You're the one who needs to move!"

"Hey! If _BULKHEAD _hadn't accidentally pushed the van into the wall, then maybe we wouldn't have had to take the COMPACT!"

"I was just trying to clean off the windshield!"

"Ssh!"

"Your knee is jabbing me in the back!"

"Get your elbow out of my nose!"

"Ssssh!"

"Get your nose out of my elbow!"

"SSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHH!"

"MOVE OVER!"

"SHUT UP!" Prowl hollered.

Everyone shut up and crammed into the four-seater.

"You're still kicking my face." Bee muttered from his position on the floor. Prowl glared at him. He went silent and tried to wiggle further underneath the seat. Optimus groaned.

"…are we there yet?" Bumblebee whined.

"DO NOT start that."

"One hundred barrels of fuel on the wall…"

"Bumblebee…"

"One hundred barrels of fuel…"

"_Bumblebee…"_

"You take one down, open the spout…"

"BUMBLEBEE!"

"And drink it 'till the fuel runs out…"

"_BUMBLEBEE!"_

"Ninety-nine barrels of fuel on the wall…"

"_**BUMBLEBEEEEEEEEEEE!"**_

* * *

Back at base

* * *

"Hello!I'mbackwhatdidImissIcouldn'tfindthemandIscouredtheentir ecitythreetimesandIstillcan'tfindany oftheEliteGuardit'sasifthey'vedisappearedoffthefaceofthe planetIhaven'tacluewheretheyare andthe possibilityofthemgoingoutsid ethecityissoabsurdthatSentin elwouldhavetohaveascrewloose tostraythatfar!" He took a deep breath and Ratchet silenced him while he could.

"The Jet twins found their way over here and will you _please _entertain them so they will LEAVE ME ALONE so I can WORK!"

The twins stepped out from behind Ratchet.

"Hello!"

"Hi!"

"There is something we have been meaning to show you!"

"Follow us! It is like nothing you have ever tasted!" They chorused innocently.

* * *

"DIE, EVIL TOY SOLDIERS! DIE! DIE! DIE!" She launched a rocket at the toy store.

"Stop right there! You have no right to destroy the store!" Optimus demanded.

"Yeah, don't you need a permit for that?" Bee quipped. A rainbow plasma ray seared the tips of his hair in response.

"Men, circle around and defend the store!" Automatically, Prime reached for his axe.

It wasn't there. He was defenseless.

"Fall back!"

"Why? The battle hasn't even started yet!"

"We're unarmed! We're sitting ducks out here!" He ducked a blast from Powdered Sugar. "I repeat! Fall back!"

* * *

"So, do you like it?" Jetfire asked anxiously.

A wide grin spread across Blurr's face and his eyes widened. He began to tremble. The brothers exchanged triumphant glances.

"So…is it being good?" A mischievous spark ignited between the twins. Blurr began bouncing; shaking as if there was steam building up in his body. Then, in a cloud of dust and a flash of light, he took off. He plowed right through the Jet twins and blasted down the hallway.

"Whoa."

"He goes fast."

Ratchet stormed in.

"Just WHAT is going on here?!"

"Well…" Jetstorm began.

"You see, we…"

"Found this thing-"

"It is called Mocha-"

"And we thought that Blurr would enjoy it!" Jetstorm finished. An alarmed look crossed Ratchet's face.

"You gave _Blurr- you gave- YOU-YOU GAVE _BLURR _**CAFFINE?!**_"He sputtered. His pupils became no more than pinpricks.

"On the plus side, it triggered his speed!" Jetstorm said optimistically. Ratchet was silent.

"Ratchet?" Jetfire asked, worried. The grumpy medic was motionless.

"Ratchet?" His brother repeated.

"R-r-r-…"

"RATCHET?" Finally, Ratchet came out of his petrified state.

"RUN! RUN FOR YOUR-oh. Wait. That won't work…grr…HEAD FOR THE HILLS!" He screamed. The twins were confused.

"Why? He is not a Decepticon, why should we-," A _whump _was heard, and Jetstorm was face down on the ground with a distinct black footprint on his jacket.

It was official. Caffeinated Blurr was at large. And nobody was safe.

Ratchet ran off, a one-medic stampede down the hallway, hands over his head and shrieking:

"EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF!"

* * *

Professor Princess sat in her lair- namely, a large inflatable princess castle inside of a false boulder at the park. She stroked Powdered Sugar and laughed about her victory. Out of the blue, her TV turned on.

"What?! I never turned this on!" The static ceased and a crystal clear voice filled the room.

"Professor Princess. I am Dr. Vladimir Noxeus. And I need your help…"


	14. Fire and Unicorns

AUTHOR'S NOTES:

Dialogue. Lots and lots of dialogue. I am SO sorry I took such a long long time updating! I had like a million non-fanfics to write! Please don't kill me! *cringes*

Anyways, enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 14- Fire and Unicorns

Prime's earpiece beeped.

"Hello?" he answered. Crashing sounds could be heard on the other end, followed by the unmistakable sound of the smoke alarm.

"Prime, this is Ratchet! I need help stat! The base is being destroyed! I repeat: the base is being destroyed! GET OVER HERE! I DON'T KNOW HOW LONG I CAN CONTROL-," The line cut out.

"Ratchet?! Come in!" the line remained silent. After several failed tries to resume communication, he gave up.

"What's the matter this time?" Prowl sighed.

"Trouble at base. I have a feeling the Decepticons have finally come out of hiding. We need to get over there NOW!"

The tiny car pulled up in the driveway of the smoking warehouse. The Autobots fell out in a heap.

They immediately untangled themselves and rushed out to meet Ratchet, who was crouched under a piece of scorched rubble.

"Ratchet! Are you injured?"

"Nah, I'm fine. I wish I could say the same for the base."

"What happened?"

"The twins came back and gave Blurr something by the name "Mocha". Blurr got his supersonic speed back. He went completely nuts, running helter-skelter 'round the base, mowing down everything in his path. Jetfire tried to stop him and put himself in danger of being flattened, his brother desperately tried to knock him out of the way and ended up regaining his wind powers to do so. Naturally, as those two always do things at the same time, Jetfire got his fire back as well. They lost all control of what they were doing. Now Jetfire set the base aflame, Jetstorm made the fire bigger, and Blurr may turn you into a pancake at any given time."

"Um…okay…I…um…"

"LOOKOUTLOOKOUTLOOKOUTLOOKOUT LOOKOUT!" shouted a blue streak heading in a beeline straight for the other Autobots. Not even ninja skills could save Prowl from being plowed over. Ratchet glanced around nervously before helping his friend out of a person-shaped hole in the ground.

"When it's someone who runs at the speed of sound," Ratchet warned, "you have to keep your eyes open. Once you hear him, it's too late."

"I realize that." Prowl muttered.

"So…why are the sprinklers not on?"

"Melted." Ratchet answered simply.

"Hey guys? Would you cut the chat and lend us a hand here? I dunno if you noticed, but the base is kind of ON FIRE!" Bumblebee hollered. Optimus turned and resumed his usual role as leader.

"Stop Jetfire first. Then his brother, then we'll find some way to rein in Blurr. I never thought I'd hear myself saying this, but thank goodness we're not robots anymore." The last sentence he muttered under his breath.

His thoughts were interrupted by a miniature tornado that came bouncing out of nowhere.

"Ow! Ee! Aye! Oof! I am being in trouble here! HEEEELLLLPPP!" Jetstorm ricocheted off the warehouse wall and slammed into a telephone pole. The whirlwind faltered for a moment, then died. He plonked onto his rear, stunned, a blank expression on his face. Ratchet rushed to his side.

"Well, at least we don't have to worry about Jetstorm anymore." He shrugged.

"We have to get some water on Jetfire!" Optimus shouted. Prowl nodded and dashed into the building. The sound of approaching sirens wailed.

"Oh no." Prowl muttered as he picked his way through the building. He grabbed the nearest fire extinguisher and searched for the human flamethrower. Gazing into the heart of the inferno, he could just make out a hazy figure silhouetted behind the flames.

"P-P-PROWL! STAY AWAY! I CANNOT STOP!" Jetfire shouted desperately.

"Try to control it the way you did before!"

"WHAT? It's not as if I can just turn it off! This thing does not exactly have a SWITCH!"

"Calm down! You're only making the flames hotter! Just focus on slowing the flow of energy. Breathe deeply, slow your heart rate-," Prowl instructed, struggling not to cough and make the out-of-control twin even more upset.

"I CANNOT BE THINKING ABOUT SLOWING MY HEART RATE WHEN I HAVE FIREBALLS COMING OUT OF MY FINGERS!"

"Just close your eyes and allow your mind to settle." Prowl tried to keep his voice calm and low. "Why am _I _always the one who ends up doing the rescuing?" he grumbled to himself.

"I HAVE NOT A CLUE WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT! I AM NOT A CYBER-NINJA! JUST TELL ME HOW TO STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPPP !" He lurched as another wave of fire erupted from his palm.

"JETFIRE! Calm down! The more panicked you get, the harder the flames become to control! Just take a deep breath, and relax."

"It is not working!" Jetfire shouted. Prowl pulled the pin on the fire extinguisher.

* * *

"Why should I help you?" Professor Princess asked suspiciously. She crossed her arms stubbornly.

"Why? Because if you help me, then I can help you."

"With what? I don't need any help." She sneered.

"I can help you take down the nasty, _violent _robots that you hate so much."

"They're not here." She retorted, her hands balling into fists.

"What if they come back? What will you do then?" Noxeus asked. Who knew that this snobby little brat would be so hard to recruit? This thing was as stubborn as a mule!

"Powdered Sugar and I can handle them!" She punched the air with one fist.

"Have you been able to handle them before?" The face on the TV raised an eyebrow. Prof. Princess was silent.

"Have you?" He repeated. She crossed her arms and stuck out her bottom lip.

"Fine. If I don't see the robots for the next week, then I might think about it."

"I don't need your services in a week. I need them NOW." A threatening undertone laced his voice.

"Fine. What do you want me to do?" She asked, now a little bit intimidated.

"I want you to wait for my orders. I want you to be ready to obey me at a moment's notice. Understood?"

"Wait! I never said I would SERVE you! I said I would HELP you!"

"You will serve me…Or the unicorn gets it. From my lab, I was able to download a virus into its hard drive. Any attempt to betray me and your Powdered Sugar will self-destruct. You only have value to me as a henchman, and I will not hesitate to follow through on my threat. Have I made myself clear?"

"Y-y-yes sir."

"Good. Very good." He murmured before the TV went static once again.


	15. UFOs and the Moron Suit

AUTHOR'S NOTES:

Sorry for yet another long wait, I was on vacation. Literally and figuratively. Zak, your idea will come, just in a more tense moment when I can utilize it to its max. PIE! It's delicious and I missed it. Bummer. Anyways, here you go. Review! Make me not miss pie so much! REVIEW! re-posted because I forgot a key line break that could have changed the whole plot.

* * *

Chapter 15-

UFOs and the Moron Suit

* * *

An assortment of emergency vehicles paraded noisily down the street at about a hundred miles an hour.

"I hope Prowl can pull through with the rescue before the public realizes what is really going on here…" Isaac worried. He made eye contact with Optimus. He still hadn't gotten over the fact that he was now eye level with the Autobot leader.

"My brother is going to be alright, though. Right, Ratchet?" Worried, Jetstorm looked to Ratchet. The medic patted his patient's head and glanced at the flaming base.

"…I hope so, kid. I really do. But we have another problem to attend to while Prowl helps Jetfire." He replied.

As if on cue, a nearby fire hydrant sailed into the air, sending water rocketing into the sky.

"MOVEMOVEMOVEMOVEGEOUTOFTHEWA YYOU-,"

_**BANG!**_

"LOOKOUTMOVECOMINGTHROUGHMOVE MOVEMOVE-,"

_**THUD!**_

"SORRY!SORRY!ITOLDYOUTOMOVEOHNONOTTHETREE **NOTTHETREE!**-,"

_**CRASH!**_

"AIEEEEEEEEEE! CAN'TSTOPCAN'TSTOPGOTTASTOPSTOPSTOPSTOP!" Blurr panicked while continuing to blast away at what was left of the cement landscape.

"We have roughly two minutes before the humans arrive! Get off your oversized rear end, Bulkhead, and start helping! Same goes to you Bumblebee! Forget about the base! We have a loose agent out here who's gonna run us all down!" Ratchet hollered. He was starting to get tense.

"Ratchet! We know! We're trying to work out a plan over here! You just get Jetstorm out of here. That's an order." Optimus said in a more-than-slightly irritated voice. His colleague nodded and left, grumbling.

Suddenly, the wall of the base exploded. A moment later, something fluffy emerged from the base.

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! IT'S—IT'S—IT'S A UFO!"Bee shrieked, pointing. He scrambled around to get behind Bulkhead.

"But it's not flying!" Bulkhead reasoned.

"NOT UNIDENTIFIED _FLYING_ OBJECT! UNIDENTIFIED _FUZZY_ OBJECT!" Bee clung to his friend's shirt.

"I think the more appropriate term would be "foamy"." Prime said calmly. Sure enough, Prowl was half leading, half carrying a foamy but not flaming Jetfire out of the building. Bumblebee calmed down.

"Hehe…I knew that." He chuckled sheepishly. Prime groaned.

"How's Jetfire?" He asked the ninja.

"Not as bad as it could be, but still could have gone better. I was afraid that the extinguisher wouldn't work."

"Well, it did and that's great. Get him over to Ratchet, he should be over that way." Prowl nodded and went to go and find him. He was back a minute later.

"So were you able to catch Blurr? Perhaps-"

"No! It's not as if he's going to stop long enough for us to get ahold of him!" Bumblebee interjected. The only thing that could save us would be if he suddenly stopped and fell over!"

Yet another thud rang out. This one was followed by an _oof. _Andjustlikethat_, _Blurr lay sprawled unceremoniously on the ground. Bulkhead did a face-plant in front of him.

"Well, that was easy." Prowl said. Bumblebee glared at him.

"So, what started the fire?" The fire chief droned in a nasal voice that matched his moustache.

"It was a car-repair accident." Prowl answered simply.

"What is your name?"

"Peter."

"Peter what?" The man asked.

"Peter…Porker." He answered, almost saying "Parker" but catching himself at the last minute. The chief sniggered and wrote it down.

"What?"

"Nothing." The man turned and walked away, got back in his truck, and drove off. Most of the other firemen followed like lemmings.

"Wait? That's it? Get my name then leave?" Prowl said, more to himself than anyone else.

On the other side of what had been the base parking lot, a lone fireman squinted, thinking, watching. Something had gone on here, something big, and something strange. Isn't this where Chief Fanzone told him the Autobot base was? What were these folks doing here? These brightly clad people…there was something odd about them. The blond one turned and looked right at him.

It hit him like freight train. All of them had unnaturally electric-blue, seemingly luminescent eyes. Like from a freaky ghost show or something. He broke away from the gaze and half turned, then snapped his head back around and checked again.

The kid's eyes were normal blue. He narrowed them suspiciously. The man blinked. He was almost certain—no, he _knew_ it hadn't been just a trick of the light.

He got in his truck nonchalantly and went to catch up with the others. He was Carson Fredrick Talliman. And he was determined to get to the bottom of this.

* * *

"So. Are they there?" A smooth voice crackled from the GPS.

"Nah, just some really dorky lookin' people." Nanosec took off the fireman's helmet and pressed a button on the little device. The scientist's shadow-wrapped face appeared on the screen.

"You're sure of this?"

"Hey, I would have seen if one of those robots was anywhere near here!"

"Aren't they called "Robots In Disguise" for a reason?" Noxeous asked, exasperated. For someone so incredibly fast, he really was quite slow.

"Well, I've seen them driving around, but they haven't come out of their vehicle modes. I think they're broken or something. Anyways, if it means I get an extra bank heist in, it works for me!"

"How do you know you're not _driving _it?! If I don't get some solid answers soon, then the deal is off. And that means no more age-resistant suits for you, and one less moron for me. A Moron in a Moron Suit is all I have seen in you so far. So step up your act and get it together…or that suit your wearing under your disguise will…to put it mildly, deactivate. Now go get me some information before I have to do it myself."

The GPS went back to its normal function. Nanosec wiped a drop of sweat from his brow.

"Moron Suit. " He muttered to himself.

* * *

NOTE AGAIN: Yes, in case you were confused, sometime over the holiday V.N. recruited Nanosec. He is NOT the same person as Carson. We're talkin' two different trucks. I'm OUTTA HERE! PEPPERMINT AWAITS! And feel free to contribute ideas via PM messaging (I love messages). If I approve, just know that your idea for one chapter might not show up until a few chapters later. If I don't, don't take it personal, it just means that it would fit better in another story. Thanks!


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